Baby #3, Is That Really You?!
I was feeling a little sentimental and decided I would write an open letter to baby #3. That is right. We are waiting upon baby #3 to join us. A little back history here. For those that have not read, we (my boyfriend and I) have 2 boys, Super K, who is 6 years old and DJ, who is 2 years old. I was on a mission last year to lose weight, get energized and just get healthier overall. I was feeling good. I was losing weight. I was being productive. At the end of September however, I was feeling exhausted again. I didn’t understand why. I thought maybe some of the supplements I was using somehow wasn’t working any more. I was sleeping a lot and just not feeling like doing much. And then I got super sick, like throwing up sick. All I could think was,
“oh geeze, it can’t be.”
And when I say this, I am serious, I couldn’t be. I was on birth control for goodness sake. Had been on birth control since DJ was born. So you know, there was no way that could be it. However, luckily for me, I had a pregnancy test in my drawer. That next morning I took the test and I swear, immediately those positive pink lines showed up!! Now this might be a little TMI for some, but then again, this is my diary in the first place! So I reached down and up as I was sitting on the toilet and attempted to reach for the strings where my birth control should be. This is something I did each month just to check and make sure. Well guess what?! That’s right! They were NOT there! No where! I couldn’t find them!
Well my bf and I had that great “WHAT IF” conversation and we laughed, I tried not to cry, we laughed some more, and then I said I needed to get to the doctor to be sure. Especially if my birth control was still in and somehow I got pregnant. Because let’s face it ladies, birth control is not 100%. And being that I no longer had an OBGYN (he retired and I just hadn’t gone looking for another one) I went to a neighborhood urgent care. They had me pee in a cup and then do an ultrasound as they wanted to be sure whether or not I still had the IUD in or not. Because well, having it in and being pregnant can be a bad thing. However, nothing. Nothing was there, well, besides the new baby growing in my stomach. I couldn’t believe it. I went to the ER just to check one more time. And same news, same information. There was nothing there, but a baby. So it was OFFICIAL, we were expecting baby #3 to make a debut on or around May 17th, 2016.
Anyways, fast forward to a month (a couple days less now) before baby #3 is due, and today I am just feeling like getting some stuff out there. Because, well, there is a lot going on right now. And I can’t believe still that baby #3 will be joining us soon. So baby #3, this letter is to you.
Dear Baby #3: 17 Things You Should Know Before You Arrive
Dear Baby #3,
This is mommy speaking (well typing). We are less than a month away from holding you in our arms. We found out about you at the end of September! Quite the birthday present that was for me. I am glad I realized it so I didn’t try going out and getting super drunk to celebrate! (Yes,I am that mommy & I don’t try to pretend not to be) However, I will be honest, I did the weekend before because, well I didn’t know you existed and my friends threw a pirate party for me! That’s right, your new mama loves pirates! Anyways, you are almost here and I still can’t believe it. We are excited and nervous all at the same time. I wanted to write you a letter to tell you all that is going on and admit somethings about your new mommy, your life, and the world. This is probably more for my soul, to get things off my chest, but hey, this letter in the end is totally for you. So when you are older, you can see where your mama was on these last few days before you were born. I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and wondering when the heck you are going to arrive. I am hoping it will be closer or on your due date, but I guess we will see. So what do I want you to know. I will keep it short and sweet, because I can talk (type) quite a bit. So let’s do the 17 I want you to know before you arrive!
1. Mommy is not perfect! I said it. I admit it. I am not. Sorry now for that. But the good news, I LOVE you like crazy! And always will, no matter what!
2. Yes, we do NOT have a name yet. There is a reason this letter is addressed to baby #3. I am sorry about that. However, lol, your daddy is being picky. Always has been picky about names. Plus, just like your brothers, you will get 2 middle names. An African name and a Hawaiian name.
3. Your brother Super K is super excited to meet you. He is your oldest brother! He did want a sister, but he is excited to have you join us anyways. He kisses my belly and loves to feel you kick. I know he is so excited to finally hold you. And he is going to be an awesome older brother! He is going to teach you so much and love you so much!
4. Your other older brother is clueless. He is only 2. So I mean, he really doesn’t get what is going on. Just be ready and know he will be quite surprised to see you! I am interested to see how he reacts and interacts around you. I think in the end, you both will be super close as you are closer in age. I think it will make for a wonderful friendship and brotherhood! I can’t wait for you to meet you other brother!
5. Yes, you are baby #3. With that being said. We, me and your dad of course, believe we know what we are doing. So you know, we got this. Not like with your oldest brother where it was our first time for everything. We know what to expect now. I am sure you will surprise us with new things. However, for the most party, we got this mommy and daddy thing down. So don’t expect helicopter parenting from us. We want you all to make mistakes, that is how you learn. We will be excited about your accomplishments, big or small. We will compare you guys. I know, we shouldn’t, but guess what it happens, doesn’t mean we love anyone less.
6. You have a huge family. I mean huge! You will love it and hate it. We have family spread all over, Indiana, Hawaii, Texas, Colorado, Nebraska, etc. Lucky for you, daddy’s family is super close and we live in the same city. So you will grow super close to them. My family lives in Texas and Hawaii for the most part. They are super excited to meet you as well. So just be prepared. There is a lot of us!
7. I hope we can work as a team! By this, I mean, I hope we are successful with breastfeeding. I would love to breastfeed you, and for a while. I only got 6 months with your older brother and only like a month with your other brother. So, if we can work together to make this thing work, I would love it! You are our last baby and I would love to have a long breastfeeding period with you. However, know that I will not be mad if we don’t make it. It is just something I hope for the both of us! I know we can do it!
8. Mommy has dreams. That is right. Can you believe it?! I still have dreams. I really want to be able to work for myself and stay home with you boys. Because of this, mommy may seem to work too much. However, I do it for you guys (and me of course). I want to be able to help provide for our family and be able to be my own boss. So if you see my trying to juggle it all, that is why. And I know I still need lots of work, but I want to make it happen. So can we try to work together on this too. You know, maybe nap when I need you to and sleep through the night. Haha. I know, daydreaming, but I thought I would throw it out there. But seriously, I look forward to having you see just what mommy does and be my side kick for the next couple years. You know, keep me on track, help me with time management and stay productive. Haha, again, joking…but really!?
9. Mommy can have a temper. I know. Like I said, I am not perfect. I am trying to work on staying calm when your brothers drive me crazy. But sometimes, I just have to yell. I feel like sometimes that is the only time they listen. I hate it. I am sure you have heard me as you are cooking in my tummy there. I really want to remedy this. So help hold mommy accountable and make sure I am meditating daily and doing yoga. It is something that I plan on doing each day to help me stay level. So be prepared, you are going to be my yoga partner for a while!
10. Mommy & Daddy love each other. So mommy and daddy are not that super mushy, PDA type of couple. But we do love each other. Man do we. We have been through a lot. So don’t get discouraged if you don’t see that. And yes, we are not married. Might as well be (10 years here), just don’t have it on official paper. One day. Your older brother is really pushing it. However, it will happen when it is meant to happen. And the thing I love is that I will have all my boys with me the day it does happen! I love that part! It puts a huge smile on my face!
11. People can be stupid. I know, crazy, but they can. Trust me, I have heard it all already. “Are you going to still try for a girl?” “Did you want a third one?” “This one must have been a mistake!” You know what people, shut your mouth. That is what I think when they start talking like this. 1. I really never wanted girls. That thought scares me. So when I heard you were a BOY, I was relived and thrilled! and 2. You were NOT a mistake. A surprise yes, but never a mistake. Honestly, I can’t tell you if we wanted a third child, but we never said we didn’t either. So I hope you know that you are and will always be wanted. Never think anything different. We love you!
12. I hope you Love. I hope you know how much you are loved already. And I hope that love will allow you to love with all your heart. I hope you grow to be compassionate for others. I hope you grow to live out all your passions. I hope you grow up to find love, whatever that love might look like. I hope you grow up with an open heart and open mind, as we definitely live in a world where there is too much hate. And always love yourself!
13. I hope you Live. I hope you do everything your heart desires. It might not happen when you want it to, but it will happen when it is meant to. And sometimes, it won’t be exactly what you imagined. And that is okay. I hope you live fearlessly. Fear can be a debilitating thing. Don’t let fear stop you from your dreams. I hope you grow up seeing the beauty of this life around you. But do not grow up blind to the ugliness either. Acknowledge it and if you can, do something about it. Do not be naive to it. Live with passion. Live with love.
14. I hope you Dance. I hope we can provide you a home and life where you are not afraid to be yourself. Remember you are amazing. Be your amazing self. Never let anyone tell you any different. Dance, laugh, cry, shout, whatever it is, express yourself. Express yourself however that makes you happy. As long as you are being YOU. Never try to be someone else.
15. I will always have your back. Remember this. This doesn’t mean I will be your best friend. I was not put here to be your friend. I don’t want any of my kids to confuse this. Because I am so much more than a friend. I am your mother and I want what is best for you. However, I will always be there for you. I will always have your back. Even if it is not in the way you hoped. Even if I may not agree with you, that does not mean I don’t have your back. So I hope you grow up to know that you can always come to me about anything. I know there will be periods when you don’t. And I get it. I was there once. But I hope you know I will be there when you are ready to talk.
16. Your baby shower. Well, if you don’t come earlier than you are supposed to, mommy’s friend is throwing a baby shower. I wasn’t going to have one, but she really wanted to do it. So in a couple of weekends it will be all about you! If you are still in there, hope you enjoy it. I will take lots of pics of course so you can check it out later. We are doing a co-ed get together, so this should be interesting.
17. You’re due May 17th, can we keep it to that date?! I know. It is a lot to ask. But I still have things I need to do to get ready for you. I have to pack my awesome diaper bag we got for you in Hawaii. I need nursing bras. I need to stock up on my essential oils. We have that baby shower I told you about earlier. We still need a name. And we still need to get stuff out of storage. Oh man, we got this. No matter when you get here, we are super excited. However, if we seem unprepared, don’t be surprised. It is just like I said before. You are the third one. So I mean, we got this. Haha…I think!
Alright baby #3. That is all for now. I got a little serious in some parts and others , well that is just me. I can’t wait to meet you mister. Oh, I will be doing this all natural! Just like your other brothers. I know, crazy me, but it is so worth it. So can we also work as a team here. You know be easy on me. Maybe 2 hours of labor and delivery? You brothers were 2 and 1/2 – 3 hours, so let’s stay around there, or hey, even quicker. Haha. I can’t believe you will be here soon. So I hope you are ready for this big crazy world. And this crazy mama of yours! See you soon my precious baby #3! I can’t wait!